When our girls were in junior high, we lived in a tiny desert town in Southern California and we attended a sweet Independent Baptist Church pastored by a man named Rob Watkins. Pastor Watkins was a godly man and he and his beautiful wife had five very wonderful children. Our girls were friends with their oldest daughter Rachel and just about every week they were invited over to the Watkins house to spend time with her.
Every time they prepared to go, I would always tell them the same thing . . . “Be sure and dress modestly to go to the Watkins house, they have a special standard about these kinds of things.”
One day, after I had told them this, my daughter Sabrina said to me, “Mom, don’t you think we are being hypocrites dressing like this whenever we go to their house? I mean, after all, this is not our personal standard of dress.”
That was a very good question. Sabrina is a thinker and was always filled with questions about why we were doing this and why I was telling her she needed to do that.
“No, Sabrina, I don’t think this makes us hypocrites at all. As a matter of fact, all I think it makes us is respectful. And being respectful is a very Christian thing to be,” I told her, “As a matter of fact, during a time like this, being respectful is sometimes the most important thing we can be.”
“Why is that?” she asked.
“Because Pastor and Mrs. Watkins are godly people that are working hard to train their children to honor God with their lives and I wouldn’t want us to do anything that might hinder or discourage them in their good work. It is a respectful thing to honor those who are doing right with their lives. It would be a very disrespectful thing for us to dress in a way that would make them feel uncomfortable in their own home.”
“That makes sense,” Sabrina said, “Now I understand why you want us to dress this way when we go over there.” And she went her way and put on the kind of clothes that they would have been comfortable with while she was a visitor in their house.
Respect for others seems to be an endangered species lately, isn’t it? Seems like the most important thing on most people’s mind is to do whatever they can to let the world around them know what THEY are thinking, believing or feeling . . . even to the point of making those around them uncomfortable while they do it.
I was raised during a time when even unbelievers were trained to do what Philippians 2:3 says about “considering others better than yourselves.” When I was growing up we were taught to address our elders with “ma’am and sir”, to always use a prefix before their name, and to attend to their needs first whenever they were in our midst. We were also taught to respect people that were doing things more honorably than we were ~ and to be willing to adjust ourselves whenever necessary.
It was my desire to raise my own children to do the same. I wanted them to be willing to respect the comfort and beliefs of others when they were around them.
I know for a fact that Sabrina does. Even though she and her family have their own way of doing things, she never hesitates to ask me about what would be appropriate dress or behavior for whatever we are hosting and she is attending.
We live in a world filled with people that are doing their best to be their best. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be the selfish one that discourages them as they do. So I have taken the command of God in Philippians 2:3 and made it my own personal marching order as I weave my way in and out of other people’s lives.
“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory;
but in lowliness of mind let each esteem
other better than themselves.”
And I don’t believe there is one thing hypocritical about adjusting my standards at times in order to please or honor others. In the eyes of this Christian gal, it is just a matter of showing them respect.
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